Battling Captivating Sins
How did M eventually lose its captivating hold on me?
First and foremost, it was a miracle. I tried countless times with no success. But through perseverance and desire, it was God’s mercy/grace working on me that ultimately had it lose its grip on me.
Is P any different? P is merely a manifestation of lust (just like an extramarital affair, non-healthy sex in a marriage or leering/fantasizing). So lust is the sin to grapple with.
Some observations:
-P is more easily accessible than M. But with Screentime it is manageable.
-Having coffees and meals with church folk and family acts as a deterrent (not wanting to let them down).
-Having a Trigger Plan that you follow is an excellent, practical practice (regardless if you end up relapsing or not). So for me it’s set a timer for 23 min, pray to God, get out of the house, go outside/stretch/spa, call someone you trust and then finally pray to God again).
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Of course, not letting myself get that tired and alone is the best preventative measure, but that will not always be possible. Hence the Trigger Plan.
But I think with M, it took me addressing the root sin (ie fear, insecurity, lack of self-confidence, not wanting to confront reality/chaos) in order for that manifestation to lose its grip on me.
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So try the 5 Whys.
The cause of P is Lust. Why is Lust particularly challenging?
Because I spent a lifetime of being told and accepting that it was “ok” by societal culture.
Why?
Because it allowed me to view it as “acceptable” enough to “let off some steam.”
Why?
Because I viewed women first and foremost for my own satisfaction (physical and then emotional)
Why?
Because I had no other way I was willing to try to have those needs met.
Why?
Because I did not believe there was a Way, and that it was worth the withdrawals to get there.
Why?
Because I thought I had to do it myself. When in reality it is accountability from others, and the external power of Christ.
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Dear God,
Show me one step at a time what I must do to gouge out my eye? To address the root cause. And to understand the Reason for abstaining from it (so that it does not prevent me from receiving your love and loving others).
Amen.
