Journal: Taking Saturday Off
3:55pm
It feels both neccessary and boring taking today off from work, the first time in weeks (maybe months). I want to be in people’s lives and I want them to be in mine.
Friday Evening
So tired but I solved a lot of problems during the week so I don’t feel guilty. I notice how lonely I feel. It would be great to go to a bar with some friends right now. But Dave’s Hot Chicken, a mango cart and a Coor’s light in the cool restauraunt interior will have to do.
Tired. I am tearing through Blake Crouch’s Wayward Pines trilogy. I am glad it is there to provide me entertainment. I go to sleep at 11pm.
Saturday
I wake up 8 hours later. Read some more. Take a shower. Debate what to do (everything seems tiring). Make myself a double shot espresso with milk and hot water.
Walk around the cul-de-sac. Decide to go bouldering and eat Boiling Point afterwards.
The gym and my anonymity in it feels comfortable. I stretch deeply, run on the treadmill, repeatedly lift a barbell over my head and then go figure out the “body puzzles.”
I meet up with Jo for Boiling Point and we both get some boba at Sunright next door (strawberry yakult for me). Go home while listening to a Bad Friends podcast episode, read some more Crouch, take a shower and continue reading and dozing.
*I remind myself as I get bored and simmer in this blessed free time to continue to not engage with porn or youtube , as those 2 vices will result in nothing worthwhile happening during the weekend.
It’s 4:11pm, what will I do now? I just want to have fun. I want to feel happy. I want to love and be loved. Maybe I’ll go walk around fashion island for a bit and then watch a movie? But there’s no great movies to watch. Call Tim and see what he’s up to?
7:33pm
There’s no movie I want to watch. I ask Jo to come to Trader Joe’s with me and she acquiesces.
We buy groceries and novelties. Back at home I finish 3/4 of a bottle of sauvignon blanc and I am feeling a pretty good buzz even as I am writing this down. Dinner consisted of chicken nuggets, hot pot leftovers, artichoke spinach dip and chocolate covered clusters.
I am ready to just read some manga and books for the rest of the evening before turning in.
I’m tempted to go into work tomorrow, but let’s see. The whole point of Saturdays off monthly is to “resist” that temptation to work and really relax, do nothing, get bored, think , occupy a liminal space, decide what I want in my life etc.
Sunday
2:13pm
I feel a lot more renewed.
Woke up earlier today at 6am after 8 hours of sleep. Stayed in bed for about 2 hours reading manga and being a little depressed.
Made a double shot espresso with hot water and decided to go to TTH to get a spam and egg banh mi and rice paper with sides. Brought some home for mom before heading to church.
On the way there I finally got around to listening to the Jerry Flowers podcast recommended by Jo. The episode was titled something like “you bring whatever you did not resolve in singleness into togetherness.” Combined with the sermon and having a chat with Tim in his car before going our separate ways greatly lifted my spirits and gave me renewed vigor and hope to keep going forward in work, friendships and dating. Praise the Lord.
Going to play a bit of MTG online now and do whatever before having family dinner at 4pm at Din Tai Fung.
It was a good, restorative weekend.
Don’t forget that you were slaves in the land of Egypt. The Lord your God brought you out of Egypt with his great power and made you free. That is why the Lord your God commands you to always make the Sabbath a special day.
Deuteronomy 5:15 (ERV)
